Sports Nicknames

Here's a quick Top Ten:

1) 'Terrible' Ted Lindsay - Red Wing or not, don't mess with Ted.

2) Dave 'The Hammer' Schultz - The meanest member of Philadelphia's famed Broad Street Bullies teams that won back-to-back Stanley Cups in the 1970's, his nickname and these pictures speak for themselves.

3) Stan 'The Man' Musial - Had he been named Frank or Sebastian, he still would have been nicknamed The Man.

4) Wolf 'The Dentist' Stansson - "Because he has the record for knocking out the most teeth ever in the NHL." And I'm sure he still owes Gordon Bombay that beach ball.

5) 'The Galloping Ghost' Red Grange - America's first football superstar got a timeless nickname, the kind that passed by with the golden age of sports.

6) Shaquille 'The Big Aristotle' O'Neal - Maybe a stretch to make the cut, but how can you not include a man who's been such an icon both on the court and off?

7) Chris 'Knuckles' Nilan - Neither the game’s best fighter nor a skilled hockey player, he did have a killer nickname that highlighted the best part of his game. Rather than a photo, here's a video of him inciting a riot. (Real footage starts around the 4:00 mark. At 4:35 the linesman surely saves somebody's life. At 5:48 the commentator takes the role of Nostradamus, and all hell breaks loose starting at 6:06.)

8) Philip 'Joan' Rivers - You're not Bob Stoops, so stop whining to the referees. Ass hat.

9) Andre ‘Red Light’ Racicot – Not as endearing as some of the other nicknames on this list, but it aptly described what was seen behind him when he manned the pipes. However, he did get his name engraved on The Stanley Cup in 1993 as Patrick Roy’s backup. ('Red Light' is a nickname that could be used for Eugene Robinson and Denny Neagle for an entirely different reason.)

10) William 'The Refrigerator' Perry - He may be large, but he's no dumb cookie. I can't decide which is better - The Punky QB with his 1980s shades or Samurai Mike with his 1980s Harry Caray spectacles.


On the subject of nicknames, why are they being recycled?

-We all know who the most famous Hammerin' Hank is. But do you know the original Hammerin' Hank? These two are true baseball legends. I've heard the blasphemy of another Hank in baseball being preceded with 'Hammerin.'

-'Pudge' is the nickname for two of the better catchers baseball has ever seen. I guess the latter (trying to save Robin Ventura's life) was tagged as a kid and it stuck, but we all know the original.

-'Vinsanity' was first used for the high-flying dunk machine in Toronto; when a QB phenom also named Vince emerged, did he really have to get re-tagged with Vinsanity?

-Sugar is the nickname for some of boxing's greatest fighters. Walker Smith, Jr. (known as Sugar Ray Robinson in the ring) was the first professor of the sweet science to be dubbed 'Sugar,' and is regarded by some as the greatest pugilist of all-time. But later Ray Leonard and Shane Mosley (who just pummelled Antonio Margarito for the welterweight title last weekend in Los Angeles) would also have the name bestowed upon them.

-LT was the unoriginal nickname for one of the best linebackers the NFL has ever known. But now a new L(D)T is on the scene, and is being called by the same name. I understand that they are the man's initials, but when it becomes synonymous with one man I thinks it's pretty lazy to re-use it for someone else.

-Another initials ripoff if LJ, with both having the same name - here's the original, and here's version 2.0.

Speaking of the unoriginality of LT and LJ, any nickname that is the man's initials is really pretty lazy. MJ, AI, KG, and TO all have better nicknames (Air, The Answer (just not in Denver), The Big Ticket, and Soap Opera respectively). Things like 'A-Rod' and 'D-Wade' are no better.

And why is LeBron James being dumbed down to LBJ? Our 36th president has the LBJ distinction. Besides, Mr. James was given - rather early in his career - the regal nickname 'King James.'
Why give Chris Paul the bourgeois nickname CP3? It's just his initials with his jersey number tagged onto the end, and makes him sound like a droid.

But the worst has to be Red Sox ace Daisuke Matsuzaka. Dice-K? That's just an American's poor pronunciation of his actual first name. (I'm willing to bet that ESPN's Jayson Stark is to blame for this. Stark refuses to just write 'Ken Griffey, Jr' in any column. He always writes him as 'Junior Griffey.') Simply 'Dice' would be much cooler for the Japanese hurler.

In conclusion, the award for the most creative nickname goes to an English football (soccer) defender of club Queen's Park Rangers: 'One Size' Fitz Hall.