A love-hate relationship

You love the New York Yankees.

Baseball is America, and the Yankees are baseball. The transitive property therefore tells me that the Yankees are America. The Yankees won independence from the Red Coats four score and seven (plus another seven score and seven) years ago. They defeated the dissenting rebels of the Confederacy. Americans are referred to as Yankees by the rest of the world. We are all Yankees.

You hate the New York Yankees.

They are everywhere. You've got your team, but they are constantly being shouldered aside by the Yankees on field and in the headlines. They are the trendy bandwagon team that everyone claims to have liked for years. Sure, it's easy to like a consistently good team, especially when your team is consistently inconsistent, or just plain mediocre (or downright terrible). The Yankees play in New York City - media capital of the United States, and perhaps all of Planet Earth. It's a viscous cycle with this team: they're so popular and such a big draw that ESPN and their junior varsity counterparts follow them like Brett Favre, but this only feeds the beast. This beast has grown so big that you can't escape the so-called "Evil Empire." Maybe your disdain for the pinstripes has deepened to the point that you've begun to like their archrivals, the Boston Red Sox.

You love the New York Yankees.

Their history and prestige cannot be matched by any team. The ballclub is truly legendary in every sense of the word. No team from even another sport in America has as many championships as have been brought to the Bronx. You know the names: Ruth, Gehrig, DiMaggio, Berra, Ford, Mantle, Maris. Monument Park is a slice of Cooperstown, containing some of the game's greatest legends. You know Lou Gehrig was the luckiest man on the face of the earth, and it gets you every time. You know Don Larsen's World Series perfect game. Babe Ruth seems like a myth, a man whose epic tale could perhaps only be told by Homer. His Ruthian home run hitting gave Webster's a new adjective.

You hate the New York Yankees.

The modern day Yankees buy all of their players. The past is history. The Yankees sign the top available players to preposterous contracts. Players establish themselves elsewhere and then George Steinbrenner (R.I.P.) writes them a blank check or swindles other GMs into swapping them for a slew of "blue chip" prospects: Giambi, Clemens, Sheffield, Mussina, Abreu, Teixeira, Sabathia, A.J. Burnett, Randy Johnson, Kevin Brown. The Yankees also snatch up promising players once they turn the corner in their development - Carl Pavano, Jaret Wright, and Jeff Weaver - and stockpile them at the end of their bench like Real Madrid did with Michael Owen (trust me about that), and they languish until leaving the team. The quality of their farm system is inflated to where their prospects are considered better just because they're with the Yankees (Joba Chamberlain comes to mind).

To most any baseball fan, the subject of the New York Yankees elicits one of these two emotions: love or hate. Fans of a team like their nemesis Red Sox still like to play the pity card on the Yankees, as if Boston hasn't done exactly what has happened in New York by spending top dollar for players. And while they are paying his monstrous salary, it was the Texas Rangers who signed Alex Rodriguez for a quarter of a billion dollars. The Red Sox are in fact the new Yankees: droves have hopped aboard the bandwagon and ESPN shoves them down our throats.

What's also of note is that four players have been a part of each of the Yankees five most recent World Series champion teams (1996, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2009). Theirs are certainly four numbers that will be immortalized in Monument Park from these teams. They are Derek Jeter, Andy Pettitte, Jorge Posada, and Mariano Rivera - all of whom were drafted, developed, signed, and retained by the New York Yankees.

While it's easy to hate on the Yankees, it's often for the wrong reason. True, the Yankees do spend unfathomable sums of money, and far too much attention seems to be paid to them; but they are no longer alone in this distinction (I'm looking at you, Red Sawx nation). And while they may hand out money like banks gave out mortgages five years ago, the core of their current dynasty has come from within.

Perhaps you don't love to hate the Yankees, but rather you'd hate to love them.

The All-Star Game mockery

Now that Major League Baseball has reached the All-Star break, we're at my least favorite part of baseball's season. And there isn't even any more World Cup to occupy the summer. It's not that I don't like the break in baseball's season, nor do I mind recognizing the players for their first-half accomplishments.

What I mind is the game itself, and pretty much everything about it. From the means by which players are selected to the conundrum of how to make the game meaningful and competitive, the entire spectacle is an absolute farce. Rather than detail why I feel this way, I'll provide a Cliffs notes version and direct you to last year's All-Star scathing:

• By being given the privilege to vote for the starters, fans turn the game into a popularity contest, electing players who have no business being in the game (see Yadier Molina)
• The "Last Man In" vote is a shameless ploy to get even more fan voting, and turns players into spineless politicians - campaigning to be selected (see Nick Swisher) and to get the monetary bonus that comes with it

I'm here to offer my 2010 All-Star team. There are 35 players from each league (22 batters, 13 pitchers), and each team is represented. I've selected the players most deserving at each position, taking into account where their team is in the standings when needed. The players are listed by position in order of their performance (the first player listed being most deserving to start).

National League

C - Miguel Olivo, Colorado; Brian McCann, Atlanta.

1B - Joey Votto, Cincinnati; Albert Pujols, Saint Louis; Adrian Gonzalez, San Diego; Ryan Howard, Philadelphia.

2B - Martin Prado, Atlanta; Brandon Phillips, Cincinnati.

3B - David Wright, New York; Scott Rolen, Cincinnati; Ryan Zimmerman, Washington.

SS - Hanley Ramirez, Florida; Troy Tulowitzki, Colorado.

OF - Andre Ethier, Los Angeles; Ryan Braun, Milwaukee; Carlos Gonzalez, Colorado; Angel Pagan, New York; Corey Hart, Milwaukee; Marlon Byrd, Chicago; Matt Holliday, Saint Louis;

Andrew McCutcheon, Pittsburgh; Chris Young, Arizona.

SP - Ubaldo Jimenez, Colorado; Adam Wainwright, Saint Louis; Josh Johnson, Florida; Roy Halladay, Philadelphia; Tim Hudson, Atlanta; Mike Pelfry, New York; Chris Carpenter, Saint Louis; Mat Latos, San Diego.

RP - Heath Bell, San Diego; Brian Wilson, San Francisco; Billy Wagner, Atlanta; Jonathan Broxton, Los Angeles; Matt Lindstrom, Houston.

American League

C - Joe Mauer, Minnesota; Victor Martinez, Boston.

1B - Miguel Cabrera, Detroit; Justin Morneau, Minnesota; Paul Konerko, Chicago.

2B - Robinson Cano, New York; Dustin Pedroia, Boston.

3B - Adrian Beltre, Boston; Evan Longoria, Tampa Bay; Alex Rodriguez, New York.

SS - Derek Jeter, New York; Elvis Andrus, Texas.

OF - Josh Hamilton, Texas; Vernon Wells, Toronto; Ichiro Suzuki, Seattle; Carl Crawford, Tampa Bay; Alex Rios, Chicago; Torii Hunter, Anaheim; Brennan Boesch, Detroit; Shin-Soo Choo, Cleveland; Nick Markakis, Baltimore.

DH - Vladimir Guerrero, Texas.

SP - David Price, Tampa Bay; Jon Lester, Boston; Clay Buccholz, Boston; Andy Pettitte, New York; Cliff Lee, Seattle/Texas; C.C. Sabathia, New York; Jered Weaver, Anaheim; Trevor Cahill, Oakland.

RP - Jose Valverde, Detroit; Joakim Soria, Kansas City; Mariano Rivera, New York; Rafael Soriano, Tampa Bay; Andrew Bailey, Oakland.

So there you have it, the worthy 2010 MLB All-Stars. The only teams who didn't have a truly deserving All-Star were Arizona and Houston, whilst Baltimore, Cleveland, and Pittsburgh barely had a respectable selection.

With this team, years from now Chase Utley won't have an undeserved All-Star selection to be praised for. As good as he is, he should not be an All-Star. If popularity determines the all-stars, don't tell me it should be a meaningful game (listen up, Selig). Boasting about how many All-Star selections a player has should not be an accolade bestowed upon him.

I'm not going to watch the game, because it pains me to see how it's been mismanaged and driven into the abysmal state it's in (and partly because I don't have television).

Reckless justice

"I don't think it does the game any good to have Alex suspended."

-Washington Capitals coach Bruce Boudreau

He's the two-time reigning Hart Trophy winner and captain of his club. He's the most exciting player in the game, and arguably the best hockey player in the NHL. Is Alexander Ovechkin earning his name another title - a dirty player?

For the third time this season he was given a misconduct, ejected, and assessed a major penalty for a hit on an opponent. He's straddling the fine line between playing hard and being reckless.

• On November 25 he ran Buffalo's Patrick Kaleta into the boards, leaving him bloodied as Ovechkin was assessed a five minute boarding major and a a game misconduct. Certainly a penalty, perhaps a major, debatably a game misconduct.

• Just two games later against Carolina on December 2, Ovechkin initiated a dangerous knee-on-knee hit to Tim Gleason, with Ovechkin himself agonizingly limping off the ice. He was rightly given a kneeing major and a tossed with a misconduct. A two-game suspension followed.

• Most recently, March 14 in Chicago, Ovechkin boarded Brian Campbell into the end boards. Another major-misconduct-ejection, and Campbell looks to be sidelined two months with a broken collarbone. This is a significant blow to the Blackhawks, who, like Ovechkin's Capitals, have spent the season atop the standings. Ovechkin was again suspended two games for the hit.

• Going back to last year's playoff series against the eventual Cup champion Penguins, Ovechkin ended comrade Sergei Gonchar's playoffs via a careless check. Ovechkin lunged at Gonchar in an attempt for the big hit; Gonchar saw this and tried getting out of the way, causing the hit to be knee-on-knee. Neither an ejection nor a suspension came from the hit, but it was nonetheless reckless.

• Even a few years ago, back when the Capitals were having a uniform crisis early in the Ovechkin era, he was given five minutes and sent to the showers for boarding Buffalo's Daniel Briere. That hit was eerily similar to the infamous Claude Lemieux-Kris Draper hit that sparked the Avs-Wings rivalry of the late 1990s.

I've heard the argument that Ovechkin should not have been suspended because the NHL recently decided not to discipline Pittsburgh's Matt Cooke for a nasty hit to the head of Marc Savard. This was because Mike Richards had not been suspended for his similar hit on David Booth earlier in the season. In these cases, the in-game penalties were allegedly sufficient. While I completely disagree with the NHL's decision on Cooke (and believe the Richards inactivity was a dangerous precedent), the league must look at each incident individually.

Following his star player's suspension, Washington coach Bruce Boudreau offered the opening quote. He would never admit to this, but with his quote he suggests Ovechkin is bigger than the game. He suggests that it will hurt the game to have one of the league's best, most exciting, and most popular players (on one of the league's best, most exciting teams) suspended for two games. Maybe he's right: the NHL doesn't need anyone suspended, and certainly not an ambassador of the game like Ovechkin. Boudreau goes so far as to try and blame Campbell for being injured on the hit:

"Brian Campbell is one of the best skaters in the National Hockey League. If he thought danger was coming, and he saw Alex right behind him, he would have moved. I think he was trying to spin away and the spin didn't work, and he got caught in the ice and he fell into the boards."

Since Boudreau clearly is about as narrow-minded as the elected politicians working across town from him, we'll let the league continue to determine disciplinary actions. I'm sure the Blackhawks believe it should have been a longer suspension, since they are now the ones who will go to the playoffs without one of their top defensemen.

No, Alexander Ovechkin is not a dirty player. He did not, in any of his questionable hits, intend to injure his opponent. But he is now a repeat offender and must be punished accordingly. (Matt Cooke is a repeat offender and a dirty player.) Ovechkin is deservedly praised for his hustle and emotion, and how he is not afraid to hit and finish his checks - rare among the league's finesse players. But he needs to play with more discretion and less irresponsibility, and stop short of crossing the border to recklessness.

Suggestions to better MLS

An open letter to Don Garber, commissioner of Major League Soccer.

Dear Mr. Garber,

I would like to commend you on your work done as commissioner of Major League Soccer. I have watched the league blossom and gain an increasingly respectable reputation, both in America and abroad. It truly is remarkable to see where MLS is in 2010 considering the league is not even twenty years old. Clubs are becoming financially viable and independent, with most every team playing in a new, soccer-specific stadium.

There are, however, several aspects of the league which I believe need to be addressed and altered in order to further improve the league. I respectfully ask that you would consider these changes for the sake of the league.

League Table

First and foremost is the topic of the league table. For Major League Soccer to carve out a niche amongst the other professional sports leagues in America, it would be foolish to simply import and copy the structure in place by other world soccer leagues. Their single-table format, by which the league champion is decided upon by total points earned at the completion of the season, would be foreign and - frankly - anti-climactic for American media and fans who are used to playoff formats in other sports.

With fewer than twenty teams, there is really no need to have two conferences. It is understandable why MLS has used this system (and the failed three division system), as the 32-team NFL and 30-team MLB, NHL, and NBA all use this format. But when the MLS playoff inclusion criteria were changed a few years ago to admit the top point earners regardless of conference, the two-conference system was rendered useless. Case in point: the 2008 MLS Cup was contested between Eastern Conference champion Columbus Crew and Western Conference champion Red Bull New York (an Eastern Conference team).

Were MLS to adopt a single table while retaining a playoff system, the league would align itself with the world's other soccer leagues by having one table while, at the same time, remain familiar to American media and fans by still having playoffs.

Playoffs

However, it is likewise foolish for Major League Soccer to copy these playoff structures in place by the other American professional sports leagues. MLS has granted playoff spots to eight teams each season, whether the league consisted of ten, twelve, ten (again), twelve (again), 13, 14, 15, or 16 teams. Come 2010, finally there will not be more teams in the playoffs than out - and the numbers will just be equal.

The parity in MLS also does not lend to an extensive playoff format being wise, such as those in place by the NFL, MLB, NHL, and NBA. Take, for example, 2009 MLS Cup Champions Real Salt Lake. The club were the last seed in the playoffs, barely even being admitted. This is not to suggest that they did not deserve MLS Cup, but rather to reiterate that they finished the regular season eighth out of fifteen clubs (right in the middle).

Rather than admitting so many teams to the playoffs, MLS needs to reward the teams that earn the most points during the season. In a single table, the top two teams could receive a first round bye, and four more teams would make the playoffs. The #3 team would host a home-and-home series with #6, and likewise #4 would host #5. The winners would advance to the semifinals to play #1 and #2, who would be the home-and-home hosts. MLS Cup could continue to be a one game event at a predetermined neutral site.

Another possibility would be simply admitting the top four teams to the playoffs, beginning directly at the semifinals. With either method, an emphasis on performing well in the regular season will be stressed. This way the best teams in the league will be deservedly rewarded for their performance and the mid-table squads will not.

League Schedule

Major League Soccer operates on an almost completely opposite season from other FIFA leagues. It would be disastrous for MLS to change its season to align with other worldwide leagues (August-May). Weather is an obvious reason; many MLS markets experince harsh winters, making playing outdoors difficult and miserable for players and fans alike. But moreover, MLS does not want to compete with the NFL and college football every week for coverage. This was more of an issue when most MLS clubs shared a stadium with an NFL team, but it still must be considered.

In the summer, when the MLS season is in full-swing, the only consistent media competition the league has is from Major League Baseball. They operate on a 162-game schedule, which makes attracting media and fans to MLS easier. Plus, the weather is mostly cooperative for fans. So while I do not think the league should shift from summer to winter games, a shift nonetheless must be made.

As it stands, MLS kicks off right around the same time as MLB's opening day. MLS playoffs are being played during the MLB playoffs and NFL and college football seasons. These are two times when MLS needs to showcase their product, yet they are playing second fiddle (or third, or fourth...) to baseball and football. Also of note is that the NHL and NBA typically are beginning during MLS playoffs and are near their own playoffs when MLS kicks off.

It would behoove MLS to shift it's start date to perhaps February from April, once the NFL season is over and before the MLB's has begun. This way the league will not have to compete with America's top two leagues during their most popular times. Instead of April-October, MLS could run February-August. An ancillary benefit would be that MLS players could be loaned to a European team for a full loan spell (in the August transfer window) without it interrupting their MLS obligations.

Expansion

Just four seasons after Major League Soccer's initial expansion from ten to twelve teams in 1998, the two Florida clubs were forced to cease operations. Though a significant setback, the league wisely continued to immediately expand and reach strong markets. MLS obviously cannot grow without actually doing so; having 20 clubs would probably be an ideal size for the league.

My criticism for MLS expansion has to do with the 2011 additions of Vancouver and Portland. Seattle enjoyed such tremendous support from their fans that MLS decided to award 2011 expansion franchises to not just one, but two additional Pacific Northwest markets: Vancouver and Portland. Signs point to the teams both following Seattle's example of success, but the concern is that the region may be too flooded with top-tier soccer teams.

This is, however, only speculation. Hopefully all teams will be embraced by their individual markets, and there really is no reason to believe otherwise. The teams will renew and create local rivalries that will be good for the league. But perhaps MLS could have looked to expand into newer markets rather than placing three teams in the Pacific Northwest in three years. (Admittedly, though, it's not as easy as just finding a city to expand to and making it happen; there are many vital factors that must be taken into account when choosing which new markets to expand to, such as ownership and investors, et cetera.)

Major League Soccer is in a unique position among American sports leagues and world soccer leagues. On one hand it must remain familiar and attractive to a mostly soccer-ignorant media while trying to attract a broader fanbase from mostly soccer-ignorant American sports fans. On the other hand MLS needs to make the league more soccer-specific to attract more soccer sponsorships and foreign players to further advance their brand and business, and to increase the league's global reputation and viability. Perhaps this would, in turn, keep more emerging American talent stateside instead of them going abroad to advance their game.

Thank you for considering these revisions. I am open to discussions on these and any other topic.

Regards,

Mister Pro

Feasting on the NHL's trade deadline

Just days after ending a two week hiatus for the Winter Olympic Hockey Tournament, the dust is has settled on the busiest day of the NHL's season.

Every hockey column or blog on a day like this has to hand out team grades, or at least compile winners and losers categories. Rather than filing this post in with the garden variety, I'll equate each team's status post-trade deadline with some sort of food. Coincidentally, I skipped lunch.

Eastern Conference

Washington Capitals: I like all the moves, acquiring Joe Corvo, Scott Walker, Eric Belanger, and reacquiring Milan Jurcina. And though I'm not crazy about the two-headed manatee of Jose Theodore and Ernie Varlamov for the playoffs, I don't think there were any better quality goaltenders available who were not too expensive in terms of what you'd have to trade away for them (Tomas Vokoun) or in terms of his salary (Marty Turco). Martin Biron/Dwayne Roloson would not have been an improvement. I wonder if they thought to go after former Cap Cristobal Huet?

Food: roasted tilapia with zucchini and rice (tastes good, but will it be enough?)

New Jersey Devils: They got the biggest name available a month ago in Ilya Kovalchuk - the man who was Alexander Ovechkin before Alexander Ovechkin was Alexander Ovechkin. They had to pay a decent price for him, but Martin Brodeur now has two elite scorers (with Zach Parise) to go with the typically dependable blue line.

Food: liquor-filled chocolates (you don't need many to be satisfied)

Pittsburgh Penguins: They added Maple Leaf castoff Alexei Ponikarovsky, a decent forward who gives them some depth up front. That's it. The holders must be pretty confident in their squad as they defend the Cup.

Food: Grandma's spaghetti sauce (doing too much too it wouldn't be wise)

Ottawa Senators: Andy Sutton addsa big veteran to their defensive corps. They also picked up Matt Cullen before the break, a player I love who should help this team. But heading toward the playoffs, their goaltending is more suspect than Ben Affleck; bringing in a veteran netminder may have helped.

Food: black jellybeans (I like them, but they're not for everyone)

Buffalo Sabres: Raffi Torres? That's the big name to boost you in the playoffs?

Food: those buttered popcorn flavor jellybeans (go find me someone who likes them)

Philadelphia Flyers: Though in the thick of the playoff picture, apparently they forgot Wednesday was indeed the trade deadline. They need a goaltender, especially with No. 1 Ray Emery - just a good No. 2 on most NHL teams - now done for the year through injury.

Food: canned beets that have been in the pantry since you moved in

Montreal Canadiens: They made one minor trade, hanging on to both goalies for the stretch. They need a lot of help elsewhere, but it would be hard trading away either of the young, capable goaltenders they have in Carey Price and Jaroslav Halak.

Food: a plain, two day old baguette

Boston Bruins: Just shipped out one defenseman (Derek Morris) for another (Dennis Seidenberg). This team is cooked.

Food: dry, crispy bacon (to the point that it damn near vaporizes upon dental contact)

New York Rangers: They got Olli Jokinen before the break, a player who only a few years ago was a top-line center. Now: he's a player who was a top-line center a few years ago. Perhaps he'll add some much needed scoring to an inept offense.

Food: peanut butter and jelly sandwich (good, but its satisfaction is questionable)

Atlanta Thrashers: Years ago, this team's future was in Kovalchuk and Kari Lehtonen. After trading both before the Olympics, this team now has no future.

Food: canned tuna (it wasn't good, you changed it, and it's still not that good)

Tampa Bay Lightning: A team that is being sold, they should have done the same with some of their players as they are headed nowhere, even if they can spit at the eighth playoff spot.

Food: 7-11 taquitos

New York Islanders: A quiet day, but not much was expected. This team won't be in the playoffs and has a lot of young players on the roster. Perhaps Rick DiPietro's newest injury prompted them to hang on to both Biron and Roloson.

Food: artichoke dip as an appetizer (pretty boring, but it will do for now)

Florida Panthers: They sold a piece or two and are looking at next year, though they didn't move Vokoun - a top goaltender who surely could have helped a playoff-bound club. They probably asked for too much for him, like a new third jersey or new logo. No one bit.

Food: Noodles and Company (ok, but could have been a lot better. After eating there, never have I thought "I'm glad I just ate Noodles and Company")

Carolina Hurricanes: Speaking of selling, this team worked harder than the Sham-Wow guy. Too bad they couldn't get something for Ray Whitney, a veteran forward who any team would love to have.

Food: Dippin Dots (the ice cream of the future)

Toronto Maple Leafs: I liked adding Jean-Sebastien Giguere and Dion Phaneuf before the break. Throw in some draft picks at the deadline, and not bad heading into next season. Again for the Leafs: there's always next season...

Food: whiskey (gets better with age)

Western Conference

Chicago Blackhawks: Chicago was mostly silent on deadline day, trusting in the young lineup that has them atop the conference. Like Washington, goaltending can be questioned: they go toward the playoffs with an expensive, underachieving veteran (Cristobal Huet) and a promising, untested youngster (Antii Niemi).

Food: pork tenderloin (it's good, but there's no applesauce)

San Jose Sharks: Much like the Blackhawks, San Jose seems content with their potent lineup, just adding playoff overtime stud Niclas Wallin to the blue line. They also shipped enforcer Jody Shelley to New York for a draft pick; so with that they got better by subtraction.

Food: cheesecake (best in moderation)

Vancouver Canucks: Make it 3-for-3, as the Canucks likewise won't try to fix what's not broken.

Food: Jägermeister (best straight-up)

Los Angeles Kings: Bringing in Fredrik Modin and Jeff Halpern adds some veteran characters to a young, unproven team. Don't worry, the west's more exciting trade deadline teams are upcoming.

Food: boiled hot dogs (not bad, but they're much better on the barbecue or at the ballpark)

Phoenix Coyotes: Possibly some collusion by the NHL-run Coyotes after making about 65 trades. The added young offensive forward Wojtek Wolski and veterans Mathieu Schneider, Lee Stempniak, and Derek Morris, all of whom should all help this team come playoff time. They also added some minor league pieces to complete the near roster overhaul of an overachieving team that doesn't know what the playoffs look like. If history has taught me anything, this franchise will quickly fold in the first round.

Food: raw cookie dough (tastes good and it's easy to gorge on it, but at a point it's too much)

Colorado Avalanche: Colorado shipped the inconsistent Wolski to Phoenix for the equally disappointing Peter Mueller, hoping a change of scenery might do both former first-rounders well in the end. Another young overachieving team, the Avalanche didn't want to give up the future for this year's unexpected playoff push. They did also add Stephane Yelle, who twice won Lord Stanley's Cup in Denver. The Reunion Tour is on, like two years ago when the Avs reacquired past stars Adam Foote and Peter Forsberg at the deadline.

Food: cotton candy (sure it tastes good, but you really don't get much from it)

Nashville Predators: They added Denis Grebeshkov from Edmonton, who promptly scored against his former team in his first game with his new one. Aside from that, Nashville didn't do much and really should have. They've been fading for a while and could have gotten something for out of favor backup goalie Dan Ellis.

Food: a cold bowl of porridge

Detroit Red Wings: They did nothing. Being in a fight for the playoffs, perhaps they didn't know what to do since they're so used to being on top at this point in the season. It'd be nice for them if all their stars started playing like they have in recent seasons to get them back on track. Actually I like the thought of a playoffs without Detroit, so here's hoping they continue to lay eggs.

Food: overcooked eggs

Calgary Flames: This team did most of their dealing before the Olympic break, casting away Dion Phaneuf and Olli Jokinen for some far less exciting names. They also swapped backup goaltenders (sending Colorado College product Curtis McElhinney to Anaheim), perhaps hoping countryman Vesa Toskala does a better job holding Mikka Kiprusoff's jock as they cling to dwindling playoff hopes.

Food: house salad with ranch dressing (at the time it's ok, but soon enough you forget about it)

Dallas Stars: The only move this team made was for goaltender Kari Lehtonen, hoping he'll live up to being the #2 pick years ago. I was glad to see this deal, because I believe both he and the Stars are overrated.

Food: a bunch of green bananas (hoping they'll soon ripen and you get use from them before they go bad)

Anaheim Ducks: Much needed defensive help comes in Lubomir Visnovsky and Aaron Ward. Throw in some draft picks and the Ducks are all set for next year.

Food: British water biscuits (not too bad, but mostly unfulfilling)

Saint Louis Blues: Knowing they'll go nowhere this season, the Blues swapped a handful of fringe role players. They couldn't even deal veterans Keith Tkachuk and Paul Kariya; both on

paper would be a good veteran add for a contending team, but in reality they're both way too washed up and tied into hefty contracts.

Food: a microwaved frozen burrito (not that you expect much, but nonetheless disappointing)

Minnesota Wild: They too smartly looked beyond this season, adding a second-round pick from Washington for Belanger and swapping veteran defenseman Kim Johnsson for youth in Chicago's Cam Barker. And without much to deal, the deadline in Minnesota was uneventful as expected.

Food: white rice (all stuck together in a pot next to the sink)

Columbus Blue Jackets: All this team did was add a lot of future considerations and conditional draft picks. Somehow they also got a roster player AND a second-rounder for Raffi Torres. GM of the year.

Food: tofu (who knows, maybe it can be morphed into something good and useful)

Edmonton Oilers: They dealt what they could in Grebeshkov and Visnovsky, but this team is just terrible. Sheldon Souray would have netted them a decent return, until he broke his hand in a fight with Jarome Iginla before the Olympic break. Perhaps that's their season in a nutshell... Just kidding, they had no hope to begin the season.

Food: brussel sprouts (I'm told some people like them and they used to be more of a staple, but man are they bad)

I love hockey. Who's hungry?

Hats off to America's Hat

I'd like to congratulate Canada on hosting a wonderful Olympic Games - opening and closing ceremonies notwithstanding.

I'd also like to congratulate them on winning hockey gold in a thrilling overtime match against the United States. (This is for The Doob.) Many a proud American closed the games with egg on their face after proclaiming hockey dominance over the Canadians on their turf following the Americans' resounding victory in the preliminary round. With gold in their own sport, it was perhaps a fitting end to an Olympiad that was overall won by the Mounties.

True, the United States won the final medal count with 37 total medals (nine gold); Germany even finished ahead of Canada for second with 30 medals (ten gold), while the hosts retained 26 (14 gold) for third. So if you go by the number of times a nation finished on the podium, had their flag raised, and received some color medal, the Yanks were indeed first. But the true victors should be judged by who won the most events, received the most gold medals, and had their flag raised higher than those of their silver- and bronze-laden competitors.

O Canada was played five more times than The Star Spangled Banner at medal ceremonies in Vancouver.

I make this argument as an American, proud that our athletes had to take extra time passing through security at the Vancouver airport on account of the bling. I say this disappointed that the US Hockey team had to settle for silver - the constant reminder that you were second best in the championship game, especially since that's twice in three Winter Games that Canada took the gold and left us with silver after Joe Sakic and company won on US soil in 2002.

Medalling at the Olympic games is a true accomplishment, and no athlete should feel ashamed if they 'only' received silver or bronze. But we all know that gold is the color you want, the medal you dream of. And besides, this is the Olympics, not little league where every kid gets a ribbon.

So to you, America's Hat, I tip my cap. Thanks for a great Olympics and a tremendous hockey tournament. You can keep Avril Lavigne, Alanis Morissette, KD Lang, and mimes, as well as the opening ceremony's tap-dancing bar flies. And assuming you plan on deporting Nickelback, we don't want them.

It lives

After more than five months without any posts and a personal seven month hiatus, I'd like to welcome you back to the BD Blog.